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Treasure Found In the Depths of the Middle Closet - Part One

Before we begin this collection, we need a bit of context. My house has two floors, which we both currently occupy. When I was little, we only lived on the first floor and rented out the top floor exclusively to gay people. This decision seemed at first strange to me, but then again my mother is my mother. That's not what this story is about. It is about this odd and gigantic closet in the back of the middle room that for years we simply piled crap deeper and deeper inside of, with no particular order or reason. Disassembled beds. Toys. Board Games. Sports Equipment. Baby books. And particular to our story today, love letters. This one, I cannot trace the exact year of, but it was the year that CPS began on August 25th, so if my memory serves me, I was eight years old. All grammar and punctuation is preserved.

Dear Graham,

Your eyes are so wonderful. I love the way you write those Stories. I now understand what love means, because I feel it every time I see you. Again I say, I love you. You are as precius as a diamond to me. Again I say, I love you. You are everything to me. And you are my true love. I am so sad my darling that it is summer time already, and that I shall not see you next fall. August 25 to be exact, oh, what a long time without you. I shall miss you honey pie. Perhaps I'll see you over the summer darling. I am afraid I can't menchan my name, because I just can't. I shall see you soon my darling cupcake.

With love always,


Who are you, secret admirer? Which LaSallian is responsible for this proclamation of true love? I guess I enjoy not knowing.

However, the plot soon thickened, as there was another letter found in the same old box, this time in cursive. A follow up? Entirely possible. Check out that spelling of precious.

Dear Graham,

Your so cool. I really like you I hope you like me too. Now my love has gone tuo [too] far so I had to right to you I must follow my heart I'm very much in love with you You are more precius as the stars Next fall I will love you more You are my only love I'm crying right now to think the summer might bring us apart I am too shy to say my name. I love you so


Your secret admirer

I will keep updating this as I find particularly juicy items, maybe even scanning a few that are particularly deserving of illustration. APPETITE WHETTED? SWEET.